ahhh

he is only the 2nd guy i have ever cried over in my life. but he's not even worth it.

i hate this.

guys are assholes.

dont fall for all the perfect shit they say. they say they need you, they wanna be with you, they're getting too attatched, make plans for the weekend so you think everything is fine and normal....but then the next day they are supposedly making out with some slut at the bar and then after ignoring you all day tell you they just wanted to be single. if they woulda just dumped you nicely at the beginning instead of pissing you off with the whole cheating thing and shit, it would be easier to be friends. you wouldnt leave them voicemails telling them you hate them and hope they die and burn in hell when your drunk. life would just be a little more cheerful.

oh and did i mention getting dumped through text messaging....very mature boys. grow the fuck up.

but what do i know right? i'm only 19, i can't possibly know anything about relationships. i mean i can't legally get into most bars around here, so that makes me the world's most worhtless person right? ahhh

sorry for the  ranting. thats what ya get when i've had like 4 hours of sleep total in the last 48 hours.

but for some reason i feel much better now..

i think i am going to be sick.

why is it that whenever things are finally going my way, and i'm actually completely happy, life always comes around and kicks me in the ass? seriously...

i know this has got to be way worse for them. but still...what am i supposed to think? and what do i do? stay out of it completely, like just completely go away?

it would probably make things easier for them. but i really dont want to...

happy birthday to me

blah

"don't believe anything you hear and only half of what you see".

that was always my grandpa's advice for life.

he must have been one of the smartest people ever.

so yeah listen to that ok people and mind your own business

so am i crazy? yeah probably haha but i dont care.

so theres this guy who has been around lately. he makes me happy. but i will not let myself expect much out of it...

went to the drive-in tonight. that is 1 of my favorite things about summer.

theres like a billion other things i wanted to do this summer that i havent yet, and time is kinda running out. i wanted to go to a concert, the zoo, an amusement park, swimming more than i have [i still havent been out in the sun since we've been back from vacation]...oh well.

i've been working a lot lately. people keep qutting dq. so i work everyday this week, mostly during the day tho so i can still have a life haha. and even if i keep getting a decent amount of hours and money, i think i am going to apply at cici's. i miss working at pizza places, that is something i am good at. plus its a good way to pick up guys...cuz at 1st i was just the 'hot pizza girl' haha.

i'm so tired. i dont sleep anymore. so goodnight....

so i'm pretty sure i'm setting myself up to get screwed over again. but in a way i don't even care. i'm used to it by now. and i do like this guy. so i might as well have fun until then.

and stach, i know you will say i'm stupid or something haha but yes i already i know that.

but anyways, ally's car is going to cost at least $4000 to fix from our accident. she doesn't even have that much left to pay on it. so most likely it is getting totaled.

i have some interesting pictures i could put on here, but i'm not that mean. i think i will just save them if i ever need to use them as blackmail haha.

hmm....